Dammit.
I missed it.
My opportunity to be Ms. Gives No Fucks, Cool as a Cu-cum-ba – a chance came and went in a blur. The goal was to be the adult version of King, everybody’s new child hero who told his teacher he was done with her ass lying about Christopher Columbus, and when she expressed her disappointment, he simply replied ‘ok.’
‘Ok.’
So nuanced, so perfect in its dismissive simplicity. And the moment we saw it in his 4th grade journal, it was unanimously agreed that this would be the new rallying cry of the tired-of-talking.
The liturgical dance response to ‘You make everything about race’. * flowy dress swirl, deep back bend, reach arms to the sky… ‘ok.’ *
The nonchalant sister-cousin of the tight chest, deep breath and side eye that appears every time I receive a comment like the one on this blog post.
It’s long af, so here are some highlights:
“As a white Bermudian reader I was personally offended and your authorship to this piece of work lost some of it’s integrity and credibility when you chose to use ‘Chase’ as a racially loaded, stereotypical "white boy name".
“If your true intentions writing are to raise challenging topics our community faces, with hopes of creating positive dialogue that can lead to positive change I applaud you. BUT – I do warn that writing with a hostile slant may create the opposite effect and derail your initial well meaning intentions.”
“In this instance only kept reading your article "Chingas" because I know Kristin White is a {sic… tee hee} educated, passionate woman who cares very much for Bermuda and her town of St. Georges. (I would have typed ‘tawn’ of St Georges but as a white Bermudian as of today I’m not sure if I am allowed to use "Tawn" in my speech or vocabulary anymore in public settings)?”
“It’s always easy to point out things in life that irk you – but what really matters is how you plan to fix the problem and create positive change.”
I felt a strong-ass side eye coming on. But I stopped and realized this was it. This could be my shining moment of shrugging, where I’d channel this 9-year-old wordsmith, just type out two letters and be done.
Oh but instead…
I felt my brow furrow and my fingers began flailing about the keyboard with a will of their own. Watching myself from above, I yelled, “No! What are we doing?! We said we were done with this! Just type ‘Ok’.”
But I didn’t listen to me. (You may be surprised to find out that wasn’t the first time.)
My response wasn’t long, but trust and believe I had more. The delete button was in heavy rotation. I wanted to link this video that perfectly summed up what perhaps I’d struggled to convey in the post. I wanted to explain that just because he sees me as a public figure in one context, he knows neither my intentions nor me. I wanted to ALL CAPS, "Did you actually reference Lulu-fucking-lemon in your argument??" Wait. I think I did that.
In the end, something in me needed to say to this fellow that I don’t give one iota what he thinks about my credibility or integrity. That his condescending, “well since you are educated” drivel was further fueling my irritation and disgust, AND proving my point. That, first and foremost, I’m a writer, not a divide bridge.
I know what you’re thinking and yeah, it’s true. I DIDN’T need to say anything. But I wanted to.
Thus, unfortunately and alas, as hard as I try, my temperament is probably never going to be cool when it comes to the ongoing and outright dismissal of the black Bermudian experience.
I do give a fuck.
And actually… that’s ok.
***
Ps. This quote from the video I linked above is EVERYTHING: "The upperclass … they are speaking (patois) as if it’s a novelty. They will speak (it) when they are trying to impress their foreign friends or when it’s convenient for them. The outside world (through advertising) sees lower and middle class (culture), so uptown wants to connect with that part, because that’s the cool part. Uptown people are not participating in this culture, but they are benefiting from it. They are just earning off of it, and lower class is not getting anything back."
Pps. You lot notice how King’s teacher was so shook, she couldn’t connect her ‘K’ properly? bwahahahahahahaha (Yes, I’m assuming his teacher is a woman because that was one of the Beckiest responses of all time.)
